Last night Henry and I tried to calculate how many times I'd told him I love him in his lifetime. [We play a game where I pretend I have a huuuuge secret and he promptly guesses it's that I love him and declares that's not a secret because I've told him a thousand times, and I feign outrage that someone has spilled the beans on this highly classified, toppest of top secret information.] I estimated 10,000 but Henry decided we should cap it at 4,000 for reasons he chose not to divulge. We then all snuggled up on Brendan's bed for some top quality gossip - apparently a girl in their class likes Brendan but his friend K has promised to take down anyone who says that B likes her back because K "is a nice guy like that." We then debated whether two boys both like another girl in their class, and assessed the evidence compiled to date. And then, after much hemming and hawing about whether it was appropriate to share with me, "because he swore me to secrecy and I know you're just going to tell all your friends, mommy!" Owen disclosed in a scandalized tone that the "girls were all teasing M at lunch and then [G] went like THIS!" as Owen pantomimed what I took to be a blatant crotch grab. I quickly pressed for more details only to learn that the girl had just lifted up their friend M's shirt. I still don't get quite why that's occasion for all the pearl-clutching but perhaps third grade sensibilities are more delicate than you might think from all the "uranus" jokes.
This morning was formal dress day and because our designated tie-tier was traveling to exotic locales for work (Kansas City in February, it truly doesn't get any better) and our put-upon single parent was trying to locate all the neck warmers and balaclavas for the frigid four block walk to school, B&O with the help of youtube learned how to tie a tie today. Check another one off the bucket list. And then tonight, after hoovering up an entire block of cheese and many, many crackers, we launched into an impromptu cartwheel practice session. Sadly, I am still absolutely terrible at cartwheels.